Navigating Open Relationships: Real Talk on Jealousy, Boundaries & the Role of Sex Therapy

Navigating Open Relationships: Real Talk on Jealousy, Boundaries & the Role of Sex Therapy

For some couples, opening a relationship can feel exciting—a chance to explore, connect, and grow. For others, it’s terrifying, confusing, or full of unexpected emotional landmines. And for many, it’s both.

If you’re considering—or already navigating—non-monogamy, know this: it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed. There’s no one-size-fits-all rulebook for open relationships. But with the right support, tools, and intentional communication, it can work—beautifully.

At Embrace Sexual Wellness, we work with people across the spectrum of relationship structures. Whether you're just starting to talk about polyamory, or you're in a multi-partner dynamic trying to make sense of your emotions, we’re here to help.

“Why am I jealous if I agreed to this?”

Let’s talk about the big one: jealousy. It’s probably the most common emotion people struggle with in open relationships, and for good reason. You're human.

You might feel fine theoretically about your partner dating someone else—until they come home glowing from a date, or you see a flirty text on their phone. Suddenly you're spiraling.

That doesn’t mean non-monogamy is wrong for you. It means there’s something deeper to explore.

A sex therapist can help you unpack:

• What your jealousy is trying to tell you (often it's about fear of abandonment, not envy itself)

• How to differentiate productive jealousy from destructive stories

• Ways to self-soothe and communicate your feelings without blame

As one client put it, “I thought I wasn’t cut out for polyamory because I got so jealous. Turns out, I just hadn’t learned how to deal with it yet.”

Boundaries Are Not Just Rules—They’re Acts of Care

In our practice, we hear it a lot:

“We said we were open, but then one of us got hurt because we never defined what that really meant.”

Consent and boundaries are ongoing conversations—not a one-time checklist.

Here are some common boundary questions we work through in sessions:

• Are sleepovers okay?

• Can you date people we’re both friends with?

• Do we share every detail of outside connections—or protect each other’s emotional bandwidth?

• What happens if one of us starts developing serious feelings?

Having a therapist facilitate these conversations can help you move past vague ideas like “just be respectful” and get into concrete agreements that reflect both of your needs.

We integrate Chicago couples therapy with sex therapy to create space for both the emotional and erotic parts of these boundaries.

"I Want This, But I’m Afraid They’ll Leave Me"

Opening up a relationship doesn’t always start on equal footing. Sometimes, one partner initiates while the other agrees—partly out of love, partly out of fear.

In therapy, we explore:

• How to make sure both partners feel agency—not pressure

• What true consent looks like in open relationship dynamics

• How to check in regularly and renegotiate if something no longer feels okay

We often remind clients: your relationship can be open and still deeply committed. And it’s okay if what felt good three months ago doesn’t work anymore. Flexibility is part of the process.

Real Talk: It's Not Always Sexy

People often assume open relationships are all about more sex and freedom. Sometimes they are. But they’re also about calendar logistics, emotional check-ins, and doing hard internal work.

One client told us, “Honestly, the most intense part of being open isn’t dating other people—it’s confronting parts of myself I used to avoid.”

That’s the work sex therapy supports. It's not about “fixing” you—it's about helping you show up for yourself and your relationships with more clarity, confidence, and compassion.

How Sex Therapy Can Support You

Whether you're monogamous, exploring, or deeply embedded in a poly network, sex therapy gives you a space to:

• Talk about fears without judgment

• Make room for all the parts of your identity—sexual, emotional, relational

• Learn tools to communicate more clearly, especially around difficult topics

At Embrace Sexual Wellness, our therapists are LGBTQ+ affirming, kink-aware, and experienced in consensual non-monogamy. We get that your relationship may not look like everyone else's—and we think that’s a strength, not a flaw.

Ready to Talk?

Opening up a relationship doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re ready to explore what’s possible. You deserve support that honors your truth.

👉 Book a free consultation with a Chicago sex therapist who gets it. Let’s talk about where you are—and where you want to go.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationship According to Sex and Relationship Therapists

How Do We Set Healthy Boundaries in Our Relationship?

Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most important aspects of maintaining a strong, respectful, and fulfilling relationship. Boundaries help ensure that both partners feel valued, respected, and understood. Whether in intimate relationships, friendships, or familial connections, boundaries are vital for personal well-being and relationship health. But how exactly do you set healthy boundaries in a relationship?

At Embrace Sexual Wellness in Chicago, we specialize in sex therapy and couples counseling that helps individuals and couples understand the importance of healthy boundaries, and how to establish them for mutual respect and emotional safety.

What Are Boundaries in a Relationship?

Boundaries are the emotional, mental, and physical limits that each person sets in a relationship. They define what behaviors are acceptable and what is not. Healthy boundaries allow individuals to maintain their sense of self while being in a relationship, ensuring that neither partner feels overwhelmed, drained, or disrespected.

In relationships, boundaries can be:

• Physical: These relate to personal space, touch, and sexual boundaries.

• Emotional: These pertain to protecting one’s emotions, such as expressing needs and feelings.

• Mental: These include opinions, values, and ideas.

• Time: Boundaries around how much time is spent with each other and apart.

• Material: Boundaries around money, possessions, and sharing resources.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Setting healthy boundaries can seem challenging at first, especially if you're new to the concept or have a history of weak boundaries. However, it is essential to communicate openly, with empathy and respect, to ensure both partners feel heard and understood. Here are some key steps to setting healthy boundaries in a relationship:

1. Communicate Clearly and Openly

The foundation of healthy boundaries is clear communication. Both partners must openly discuss their needs, desires, and limits. Be direct but gentle when expressing what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable. This ensures that both partners understand where the other stands and can adjust accordingly.

2. Respect Each Other’s Limits

Healthy boundaries require mutual respect. While it’s essential to express your own boundaries, it’s equally important to listen to your partner’s boundaries and honor them. This is vital for building trust and fostering a strong emotional connection.

3. Be Consistent

Once you establish boundaries, it’s important to maintain them. Consistency in enforcing boundaries shows that you respect yourself and your partner. If one person continually pushes or disregards boundaries, it may cause resentment or emotional harm.

4. Revisit Boundaries Regularly

Boundaries are not static. As relationships evolve, so do personal needs and limits. Regularly check in with your partner about how you’re feeling in the relationship and adjust boundaries if necessary. This can help you maintain a healthy balance and ensure that both individuals are still respected and heard.

5. Use “I” Statements

When setting boundaries, avoid placing blame or making your partner feel guilty. Instead, use “I” statements, such as “I feel overwhelmed when...” or “I need space when...”. This approach focuses on your feelings and needs, rather than accusing or criticizing your partner.

The Importance of Boundaries in Couples Counseling and Sex Therapy in Chicago

If you and your partner are struggling to set or maintain boundaries, couples counseling and sex therapy can provide valuable guidance. At Embrace Sexual Wellness, we offer couples counseling in Chicago to help partners communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and establish healthy boundaries that promote a stronger, more respectful connection.

Boundaries also play an important role in sex therapy. Healthy sexual boundaries are crucial for emotional and physical well-being, particularly in cases of mismatched sexual desire, trauma recovery, or intimacy challenges.

TLDR

Setting healthy boundaries in a relationship isn’t just about saying “no” – it’s about protecting your mental, emotional, and physical well-being, while also respecting your partner's needs and limits. Healthy boundaries create an environment of trust, emotional safety, and mutual respect, allowing relationships to thrive.

If you’re ready to explore how couples counseling in Chicago or sex therapy in Chicago can help you set healthy boundaries and build a stronger relationship, Embrace Sexual Wellness is here to support you. Reach out today to schedule a complimentary phone consultation and take the first step towards creating a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

How to Maintain Intimacy and Sex While Apart: Tips for Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance relationships, whether they’re the result of work, travel, or other circumstances, come with their own unique challenges—none more complex than maintaining intimacy and a fulfilling sexual connection.

In a world where instant gratification is a click away, how do couples keep the spark alive when they’re physically apart?

The good news is that intimacy and sexual connection don't have to fade with distance. With a little creativity, communication, and openness, couples can maintain, and even strengthen, their bond while apart. Here’s how to keep your relationship both emotionally and physically fulfilling, even when you’re not in the same room.

Prioritize Emotional Intimacy First

Intimacy isn't just physical; it starts emotionally. While sex is often the focal point of intimacy, emotional connection forms the foundation for any healthy sexual relationship. When you're apart, the key is to keep those emotional lines of communication strong.

Ways to nurture emotional intimacy:

• Regular check-ins: Make time for daily or weekly "heart-to-heart" conversations. Share your thoughts, your day, your highs and lows. The deeper you go emotionally, the more you’ll feel connected when you’re apart.

• Be vulnerable: Opening up about your needs, desires, and insecurities helps create a sense of closeness and trust. Vulnerability creates a safe space for both partners to express themselves freely.

• Active listening: Make sure you're listening to your partner with the intention of understanding—not just responding. Active listening builds empathy and shows that you’re truly invested in your partner’s emotional well-being.

Pro Tip: Schedule "deep conversations" where the goal isn’t to solve problems, but to connect emotionally. Sometimes, just feeling heard and understood can boost intimacy.

Engage in Regular Texting and Communication

While nothing replaces face-to-face interaction, modern technology provides plenty of ways to stay connected throughout the day. When you're physically apart, texting, voice notes, and video chats become vital tools for maintaining intimacy.

Creative communication tips:

• Flirt through texts: Keep the playful energy alive by sending flirty texts or playful emojis throughout the day. A little flirtation can go a long way in keeping the sexual chemistry strong.

• Send love notes or thoughtful messages: A quick "I love you" text is great, but a thoughtful message about something you admire in your partner can go even further. Let them know how much they mean to you.

• Voice notes and video calls: Texting can feel one-dimensional sometimes. Mix it up with voice notes or video calls to hear your partner’s tone and see their expressions. These small acts of connection can bring back that feeling of being in the same room.

Pro Tip: Set aside time for "uninterrupted" calls or video chats. This allows you to be fully present with each other, without distractions.

Get Creative with Digital Intimacy

Just because you're not physically together doesn't mean you can’t share intimate moments. In fact, technology has given couples new ways to stay connected sexually. Whether it’s through sexting, phone sex, or exploring intimate video calls, there are numerous ways to maintain sexual intimacy across the distance.

Digital intimacy ideas:

• Sexting with intention: Sexting can be a fun way to maintain a sexual connection while apart. But it’s important to approach it with intention and playfulness—don’t just send a generic message, get specific! Share your fantasies, describe what you’re wearing, or recount an intimate memory to stir up desire.

• Phone sex and video chats: Using your voice and visuals can be incredibly powerful in maintaining sexual tension. Schedule a "sexy call" and let your imaginations run wild.

• Mutual masturbation: Another option for couples who want to maintain sexual intimacy is to engage in mutual masturbation while on video calls. It’s a way to stay physically connected without being in the same room.

• Send intimate gifts: Surprise your partner with thoughtful gifts—whether it's a piece of lingerie, a special toy, or something that holds sentimental value. Physical gifts can carry emotional weight, making the distance feel more manageable.

Pro Tip: Create a safe and comfortable environment before engaging in any form of digital intimacy. Make sure you both feel secure and respected in the experience.

Plan Regular Visits or Virtual Date Nights

When distance is a factor, the anticipation of being together again can keep your bond strong. However, it’s important to maintain that excitement by planning regular visits, or even virtual date nights to keep things fresh.

Date ideas for long-distance couples:

• Watch movies together: You can use apps that allow you to sync up streaming services and watch movies or shows at the same time. Then, discuss the plot and characters afterward—just like you would if you were sitting next to each other.

• Cook dinner “together”: Pick a recipe and cook together over video call. You’ll not only create something delicious, but also have the chance to laugh and chat as you prepare it.

• Take virtual vacations: While it’s not the same as being there physically, you can enjoy a virtual vacation together by planning trips or talking about future vacations to build excitement for when you're reunited.

• Schedule visits: Nothing will keep the flame alive like knowing when you’ll be physically together again. Plan regular trips to visit each other and make sure the anticipation keeps the energy between you both vibrant.

Pro Tip: Keep an eye on the future and discuss what life will look like when you’re reunited. Planning for the next time you can be physically together builds hope and strengthens your connection.

Maintain Personal Sexual Wellness

While maintaining intimacy with your partner is important, don’t forget about your own sexual well-being. When apart, it’s easy to neglect your personal needs, but keeping in touch with your own desires will help you stay in tune with your body and feel more connected to your sexual identity.

Personal wellness tips:

• Self-pleasure: Solo sex is a great way to stay in touch with your sexual energy and desires. It helps to keep your sexual health in check and ensures that you don’t feel disconnected from your own body.

• Exercise and body care: Physical activity helps boost energy, mood, and libido. Taking care of your body, whether through yoga, strength training, or even simple stretching, will help you feel better, more energized, and more confident.

• Mindfulness: Mental health is key to sexual well-being. Practicing mindfulness or meditation can keep your mind focused, reduce stress, and improve your overall mood—contributing to better intimacy when you reconnect with your partner.

Pro Tip: Set aside personal time for self-care rituals. When you’re emotionally and physically well, it’ll be easier to show up as your best self for your partner.

Trust and Patience Are Key

Long-distance intimacy requires a high level of trust and patience. It can be easy to feel insecure or frustrated, but remember that distance doesn’t mean your love is any less real. By focusing on communication, mutual respect, and the desire to maintain the connection, you’ll be able to weather any storm together.

TLDR

Maintaining intimacy and sex while apart isn’t always easy, but it is absolutely possible. The key is to stay creative, communicate openly, and prioritize emotional and physical connection, no matter the distance. With modern technology and a strong commitment to each other, you can not only keep your relationship alive but make it even stronger.

So, whether you're sexting, planning future visits, or simply having a nightly video call, remember that the bond you share doesn't depend on proximity—it thrives on trust, communication, and love. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and with these strategies, it can also make the connection even deeper.