Is the Media Misleading Us in Love? 7 Common Myths That Harm Real-Life Relationships

Is the Media Misleading Us in Love? 7 Common Myths That Harm Real-Life Relationships

Insights from Chicago Sex Therapists at Embrace Sexual Wellness

Have you ever noticed that real-life relationships often feel very different from what you see in movies, TV shows, or on social media? Romantic comedies show love as effortless and passionate all the time. Reality shows make jealousy look glamorous. Social media suggests that grand gestures or perfect appearances define commitment.

While entertaining, these portrayals can create unrealistic expectations. Believing in them can lead to disappointment, misunderstandings, and pressure on partners to behave or feel a certain way.

At Embrace Sexual Wellness, our team of Chicago sex therapists works with clients navigating these gaps between media portrayals and real-life relationships. This article explores seven common myths promoted by media, why they can be harmful, and healthier alternatives to help couples build strong, realistic, and fulfilling connections.

1. True Love Means Constant Passion

Where it comes from: Romantic films, TV dramas, and fairy tale narratives.

Why it’s harmful: Expecting every relationship to feel like a constant thrill can make everyday intimacy seem dull or inadequate. Passion naturally fluctuates in healthy relationships.

A healthier approach: Focus on consistent connection, emotional support, and shared experiences. Passion can be nurtured over time through communication, playfulness, and small gestures rather than expecting constant excitement.

2. Jealousy is Proof of Love

Where it comes from: Reality TV shows, teen dramas, and social media posts that glamorize possessiveness.

Why it’s harmful: Believing jealousy is romantic can normalize controlling or insecure behavior. Over time, this can lead to mistrust and anxiety in relationships.

A healthier approach: View trust, respect, and open communication as true indicators of love. Partners who feel safe and secure are more likely to maintain intimacy and satisfaction.

3. Love Alone Can Solve Problems

Where it comes from: Classic romance movies, melodramatic TV shows, and romantic novels.

Why it’s harmful: Expecting love alone to heal personal or relational challenges puts unrealistic pressure on the relationship. It may lead to frustration when conflicts or personal issues remain unresolved.

A healthier approach: Healthy relationships require effort, communication skills, and sometimes external support such as counseling. Addressing challenges together strengthens intimacy and resilience.

4. Grand Gestures Define Romance

Where it comes from: Films, music videos, and social media trends that celebrate dramatic displays of affection.

Why it’s harmful: Believing that love depends on grand, public gestures can make everyday acts of care feel undervalued. Partners may feel they are failing if they cannot perform elaborate displays.

A healthier approach: Prioritize daily acts of kindness, consistent support, and attentive communication. These actions build deeper, lasting connection than occasional dramatic moments.

5. Sexual Compatibility Should Be Instant

Where it comes from: TV shows, movies, and dating reality series portraying instant chemistry.

Why it’s harmful: This narrative can create anxiety and self-doubt if sexual compatibility develops gradually. It can make normal exploration feel abnormal.

A healthier approach: Sexual intimacy grows through trust, communication, and curiosity. Couples can enhance satisfaction by discussing desires openly and practicing patience.

6. Conflict Means a Bad Relationship

Where it comes from: Romantic comedies and idealized TV couples.

Why it’s harmful: Thinking that healthy relationships are conflict-free can make ordinary disagreements feel alarming. Avoiding conflict entirely can also prevent growth and understanding.

A healthier approach: View disagreements as opportunities to learn and connect. Addressing conflict with empathy, listening, and collaboration strengthens relationships.

7. Partners Should Meet All Emotional Needs

Where it comes from: Drama films, soap operas, and social media depictions of “perfect love.”

Why it’s harmful: Expecting one person to meet all emotional needs can create codependency, frustration, or resentment. No individual can provide everything another person requires emotionally.

A healthier approach: Cultivate a support network that includes friendships, hobbies, and self-care. Sharing intimacy with a partner while maintaining independence promotes a balanced, healthy relationship.

Why Media Literacy Matters

Media is a powerful influence, but it rarely reflects reality. Recognizing these myths helps couples manage expectations and communicate more effectively. Understanding that media often prioritizes drama over reality allows partners to focus on authentic connection, trust, and mutual support rather than chasing fantasy ideals.

How A Sex Therapist Can Help

A sex therapist or relationship counselor can help couples identify internalized media messages, address unrealistic beliefs, and replace them with practical, healthy strategies. Therapy provides tools for communication, intimacy building, and navigating challenges, enabling couples to develop relationships that are realistic, satisfying, and resilient.

TLDR

Movies, TV, and social media can be entertaining but often portray relationships in misleading ways. Myths about constant passion, jealousy, grand gestures, and conflict-free love can harm real-life connections. Our team helps couples recognize these myths, understand their impact, and cultivate relationships grounded in communication, authenticity, and mutual support. Separating fantasy from reality allows couples to thrive and maintain intimacy in healthy, sustainable ways.

Learn more about therapy services and schedule a free intro call with a sex therapist today.

How to Keep Intimacy Alive During the Holiday Season: Tips from a Chicago Sex Therapist

How to Keep Intimacy Alive During the Holiday Season: Tips from a Chicago Sex Therapist

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and celebration, but for many couples, they can also bring stress, exhaustion, and a sense of disconnection. Between family obligations, work deadlines, holiday travel, and crowded social calendars, intimacy often gets pushed to the back burner. Suddenly, sex and closeness feel like just another item on an already overwhelming to-do list.

Our team of Chicago sex therapists work with couples every year who tell us, “We love each other, but the holidays make it hard to feel connected.” The good news? Feeling close and intimate during the holiday season is entirely possible with a little intentionality and creativity. In this post, I’ll share practical ways couples can maintain emotional and physical connection, reduce stress around sex, and keep the spark alive even amidst the holiday chaos.

Why Intimacy Can Decline During the Holidays

First, let’s normalize what many couples experience: a drop in intimacy during the holidays is extremely common. There are several reasons this happens:

Stress and fatigue: Long to-do lists, work deadlines, and family gatherings can leave little energy for each other.

Disrupted routines: Travel, time away from home, and unpredictable schedules can interfere with usual couple routines.

Emotional overwhelm: Holidays can bring up unresolved family tension or financial stress, which often seeps into the relationship.

When life feels like a series of obligations, it’s easy for emotional and physical closeness to take a back seat. Many couples in Chicago come to me worried that their connection is fading, but with some conscious effort, these challenges can be turned into opportunities for growth and closeness.

Prioritizing Emotional Connection First

Before we talk about sex, let’s focus on emotional intimacy. It’s the foundation for any satisfying physical connection. Even small moments of emotional closeness can make a huge difference:

Daily check-ins: Take 5–10 minutes each day to ask your partner how they’re feeling and share a little of your own emotional world.

Small acts of affection: Hold hands while walking, hug in the morning, or cuddle during a holiday movie.

Share the load: Discuss holiday stress together and make joint plans to manage obligations, which fosters teamwork.

We often remind couples that emotional intimacy fuels desire. When partners feel emotionally connected, physical closeness naturally follows.

Planning Physical Intimacy Around a Busy Schedule

Let’s be real: holiday calendars are packed. That doesn’t mean physical intimacy has to disappear. Being intentional about connection can make all the difference:

Schedule date nights: Even if it’s just a cozy evening at home after the kids go to bed, having dedicated couple time helps.

Micro-moments of touch: Hand-holding while wrapping gifts or a brief massage while cooking can sustain closeness.

Communicate openly: Let your partner know your needs and listen to theirs without judgment or expectation.

Couples often tell us they feel guilty “stealing time” for themselves during the holidays. Sometimes guilt can arise in familiar moments when we haven’t done anything wrong yet it feels confusing. Taking time to prioritize intimacy as a way to recharge emotional energy for both partners is a gift in itself.

Overcoming Stress-Related Challenges to Desire

It’s no surprise that stress can quietly take a toll on sexual desire. When you’re tired, anxious, or mentally overloaded, even thinking about sex can feel like too much. There are some practical ways couples can work around these stress-related blocks:

Mindful moments together: Spending just a few minutes focusing on your breathing or being fully present with each other can help melt away tension and create connection.

Gentle touch exercises: Techniques like sensate focus encourage partners to explore touch without worrying about performance or orgasm, making intimacy feel safe and enjoyable again.

Protect your time: Say no to certain obligations or events so you can carve out meaningful moments together. You’ll thank yourself later and be glad you did.

When couples shift the focus from “getting it right” to simply connecting, closeness and pleasure often return naturally.

Creative Ways to Keep Intimacy Fun During the Holidays

Holiday stress doesn’t have to extinguish the spark. Adding playful, light-hearted rituals can help couples stay connected:

Create a romantic mini-tradition: Morning coffee together, exchanging sweet notes, or a short evening walk can reinforce closeness.

Play sensual touch games: Even simple massages, hand-holding while dancing, or playful teasing in private helps maintain desire.

Explore a shared couple bucket list: Create a list of small, intimate experiences you can enjoy together over the holidays.

These strategies don’t require extra time or energy, just a willingness to be present and playful. As relationship and sex therapists, we often see couples rediscover their spark through these creative, low-pressure rituals.

When to Seek Support from a Sex Therapist

While holiday intimacy challenges are normal, some couples may need additional support. Consider reaching out to a certified sex therapist if you notice any of the following:

• Emotional disconnection persists despite effort

• Sexual desire or satisfaction is low, or arguments about intimacy are frequent

• Stress and burnout are affecting your ability to connect as a couple

Sex therapy provides a safe, supportive space to explore challenges, improve communication, and develop strategies tailored to your relationship. With guidance, couples can navigate holiday pressures without sacrificing intimacy.

TLDR

Intimacy doesn’t have to take a backseat during the holiday season. By prioritizing emotional closeness, planning physical connection, managing stress, and embracing playful rituals, couples can maintain and even deepen their bond.

If you and your partner are struggling to feel close during the holidays, you’re not alone. If you’re local to Illinois or Chicago, working with our team of sex therapists can provide guidance, support, and practical tools to keep your connection strong and your intimacy thriving even in the busiest time of year.

Remember, the holiday season isn’t just about gifts and obligations. It’s an opportunity to nurture love, connection, and joy both inside and outside the bedroom.

Can a Chicago Couples Therapist Really Save My Relationship?

Can a Chicago Couples Therapist Really Save My Relationship?

Many couples who come to therapy in Chicago ask themselves if therapy can actually turn things around or if it’s “too late.” 

While it’s not a couples therapist’s job to decide if a relationship is over, we can definitely help you determine your next steps, and guide you through a process of strengthening communication or repairing trust.

Remember, relationship struggles are common, not a sign of failure. 

In fact, many couples we work with in therapy are smart, independent people who love their partner and are feeling stuck trying to improve their relationship. 

A Chicago couples therapist can’t “magically” fix everything, but therapy provides proven tools to rebuild trust, intimacy, and communication. In this blog, we will explore what couples therapy is, how it works, and whether it can save your relationship.

What Does a Couples Therapist in Chicago Actually Do?

Couples therapy is a safe, structured space to explore challenges. A couples therapist will help track patterns, try to introduce new skills and create space to validate and challenge each partner.

Going to relationship therapy is different from individual therapy because the focus is on the relationship and not on one person entirely. Couples therapists often use evidence-based approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, and CBT to guide the process.

Can Couples Therapy Really Save a Relationship?

Saving a relationship does not just mean preventing a breakup, but fostering healthier connection. Therapy can be transformational for couples who are stuck in unhelpful patterns and unsure where or what to do next.

A great deal of success in therapy depends on each partners’ willingness to engage both inside and outside the therapy room. Therapists may give homework assignments or introduce skills for couples to practice outside of session. Couples who engage in their homework outside of session tend to experience more progress than those who do not.

Therapy can lead to stronger relationships or it may lead to a healthier decision to part ways.

Signs You and Your Partner Might Benefit from Seeing a Chicago Couples Therapist

You may benefit from relationship therapy if you and your partner are experiencing:

• Constant fighting or silent distance

• Lack of intimacy or sex

• Betrayal or broken trust

• Big life transitions (kids, career changes, moving)

• Feeling more like roommates than partners

It’s important to remember that seeking help early prevents deeper rifts. Couples who are more proactive and go to therapy sooner generally experience greater progress than those who wait until the problem has festered for a long time.

What Happens in a Typical Couples Therapy Session?

The first few therapy sessions are usually focused on assessment and history. This is also an opportunity to decipher if your therapist is a good fit for you.

As you proceed in the work, you might work on practicing new communication skills, exploring emotional needs, repairing ruptures.

Remember, couples therapists are guides, not referees. They are not meant to be a judge and take sides. 

It’s also reasonable to expect homework between sessions. This helps couples stay accountable to their goals and work on improving outside of therapy.

It’s normal to feel some discomfort during therapy, especially early on. This is usually a sign of growth.

How to Choose the Right Chicago Couples Therapist for You

First, look for credentials for example a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and  Certified Sex Therapist if intimacy issues are central. Not all mental health therapists are trained to work with couples or to support clients with intimacy concerns, so it’s a wise idea to ask them about their training before getting started. 

Consider the provider’s specialization such as infidelity, sex therapy, parenting, trauma, or neurodivergence. 

Remember, finding a therapist that is a good fit is super important. Therapy is more effective when both partners feel comfortable. It might not feel super easy at first, but it will get better in time. 

Consider the practical features such as location (downtown vs suburbs), telehealth options, and insurance/fees. Many experienced couples therapists are out of network or do not take insurance, but they may provide you with a statement (a superbill) that you can submit to your health insurance provider for reimbursement. 

The Limitations of Couples Therapy

Therapy isn’t about “fixing” one partner, it’s about growing as a team. Most couples therapists consider the relationship as their client. 

Couples therapy won’t work if one partner is unwilling or dishonest. It’s also not recommended for partners who are actively involved in domestic violence or are experiencing ongoing trauma.

Therapy can take time. Some people will go for 10-20 sessions over the course of three to six months to really see a benefit. It’s best to talk with your therapist about how they approach therapy and what the expected duration will be.

Occasionally therapy leads partners to discover that ending their relationship is the healthiest decision. 

What Success in Couples Therapy Looks Like

Success in couples therapy will vary based on your specific goals. Common ways you’ll know therapy is working may include:

• Better communication and conflict management

• Renewed emotional and sexual intimacy

• Stronger teamwork for shared goals

• Feeling seen and understood, even if you don’t agree on everything

TLDR

Couples therapy isn’t a quick fix, but it offers real hope. Many partners feel tremendous relief even after the first session because they finally have a space to hold them accountable to their goals.

A Chicago couples therapist can guide you toward healing, growth, and clarity, whether that means saving your relationship or redefining it. You can choose what you want to work on in therapy and make the experience specific to your relationship.

If you’re interested in strengthening your relationship, reach out to a Chicago couples therapist at Embrace Sexual Wellness to explore how therapy can help.