How Trauma Can Affect Your Sex Life
Sexual trauma is one of the most harrowing experiences someone can go through and unfortunately, it’s far too common. Sexual trauma can be caused by any kind of non-consensual sexual experience including rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, and childhood molestation. On average, there are 450,000+ survivors of sexual violence every year in the United States, a number which is likely underreported. Survivors of sexual trauma frequently experience post-traumatic stress (PTSD) and are more likely to have difficulty coping.
Experiencing sexual trauma has the potential to upend someone’s entire life, not least of all their sex life. Trauma responses can range from sex repulsion, avoidance, disconnection, dissociation, to hyper-sexuality. In therapy, survivors can work toward understanding and respecting their own boundaries and moving at a pace that feels comfortable. There’s no obligation to return to consensual sex but for those who want that, healing is possible, even if it is sometimes challenging. Common obstacles to resuming consensual intimacy may include negative body image, flashbacks, and PTSD. Working with a trauma informed therapist can help you learn strategies for managing trauma symptoms.
Acute Trauma + Complex Trauma
Trauma can affect people differently and the symptoms may be unique to each individual. Trauma can occur in a singular event (sometimes called acute) or in a sequence, which is called complex trauma. Acute trauma may include experiencing a life-threatening event, assault, war, or natural disaster. Complex trauma tends to emerge from lengthier events such as an abusive relationship, death of a loved one or infidelity.
Trauma therapy can help you identify the signals and manage the symptoms of trauma. Some signals a person may experience after a traumatic event include:
Loss of Appetite
Difficulty sleeping, nightmares or night terrors
Hopelessness, shame, depressed mood, guilt
Flashbacks
Derealization or dissociation from your body or reality
Hyper-vigilance around things, people or places that remind you of the event
Increased startle response
Trauma therapy can help you understand what you are experiencing and learn strategies to feel more confident in your own life.
How Trauma Therapy Works
Trauma therapy can be helpful in treating the psychological symptoms of trauma. The therapy process typically involves identification of trauma triggers, increasing awareness of the nervous system’s response to trauma, developing coping mechanisms for self-soothing, re-associating intimacy/touch with positive connotations, developing a plan for returning to partnered intimacy (if that’s a goal), communication skills and more.
A traumatic event can overwhelm the nervous system and leave a person in a consistent state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Trauma counseling and trauma informed therapy can help you manage traumatic stress so you can feel more empowered to live your life and develop a sense of safety in the world.
How do I begin therapy for trauma?
You may feel uneasy about seeking therapy to address trauma, however, beginning therapy is an investment in your own health and wellbeing. Whether you are starting therapy alone or with a partner, reaching out for support can help empower you to learn skills for healing from trauma.
If you are ready to begin sex therapy, the team at Embrace Sexual Wellness can help. For more information on how Embrace Sexual Wellness can help with trauma, feel free to request a free 10-minute phone consultation. A clinician will be able to answer any questions and help you get started.
