How common is low libido?
Low Libido can impact people of all genders. Studies estimate 26-52% of American women and 15-25% of men report experiencing low sexual desire. Decreased sexual interest is sometimes diagnosed by a healthcare provider as Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder (FSIAD) or Male Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (MHSDD). These diagnoses are made when a person experiences reduced or absent sexual interest over at least 6 months and it cannot be explained by another medical or mental health condition and is accompanied by significant psychological distress. Low libido is not an appropriate diagnosis for people who are asexual.
What causes low libido?
Decreased sexual interest can be impacted and exacerbated by many factors. Possible reasons for low libido may include:
Existing Mental Illness such as Depression or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Side Effects from Certain Medications
Performance Anxiety
Hormonal Changes such as Low Testosterone (postpartum, menopause or andropause)
Insecurities About Body Image or Low Self-Esteem
Life Stressors
Lack of Sleep
Relationship Conflict + Emotional Disconnection
Painful or Discomfort During Sex
Chronic Illness or Natural Aging
Low libido can have a significant impact on individuals’ self-esteem as well as their relationship and sexual satisfaction. Sex therapy can be very helpful in addressing the emotional, relational and psychological causes of low libido and understanding contexts that commonly impact sexual desire.
How Mismatched Desire Impacts Relationships
Partners experiencing mismatched libidos is a common intimacy concern. Mismatched libido (also called desire discrepancy) can occur when partners have different desires for sexual activity and these differences can create sexual tension or emotional disconnection when partners do not have the skills to manage it effectively. Managing mismatched libidos can feel challenging for partners who care deeply for one another because they do not want to create conflict or witness their partner feeling upset.
Desire discrepancy is the most common reason couples seek the professional guidance of a sex therapist. While there is no objectively right or wrong sex drive or libido, the tension mismatched desire can bring requires proactive, healthy communication to foster mutual understanding. Working together as a team, you can create a pleasurable and satisfying sex life.
How Sex Therapy Works
Sex therapy can be helpful in treating the psychological components related to low libido and desire discrepancy. The sex therapy process typically involves several stages including assessment, goal setting, intervention, homework and self-practice, progress review, and closure and maintenance. After ruling out medical issues, a certified sex therapist (CST) may recommend educational activities, communication tools, as well as behavioral or mindfulness based exercises for you to practice outside of sessions to alleviate low desire and increase sexual satisfaction.
Recognizing that sex therapy is working involves improvements in communication, comfort, and sexual satisfaction. If you're experiencing sexual issues or are simply looking to enhance your sexual well-being, don’t hesitate to seek the guidance of a qualified sex therapist. It can be the first step toward a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life.
How do I begin sex therapy for desire discrepancy?
You may feel uneasy about seeking therapy to cope with mismatched desire, however, beginning therapy is an investment in your own health and wellbeing. Whether you are starting therapy alone or with a partner, reaching out for support can help you increase awareness and learn skills to improve sexual desire concerns.
If you are ready to begin sex therapy, the team at Embrace Sexual Wellness can help. For more information on how Embrace Sexual Wellness can help with libido concerns, feel free to request a free 10-minute phone consultation. A clinician will be able to answer any questions and help you get started.
