#longdistance

How to Maintain Intimacy and Sex While Apart: Tips for Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance relationships, whether they’re the result of work, travel, or other circumstances, come with their own unique challenges—none more complex than maintaining intimacy and a fulfilling sexual connection.

In a world where instant gratification is a click away, how do couples keep the spark alive when they’re physically apart?

The good news is that intimacy and sexual connection don't have to fade with distance. With a little creativity, communication, and openness, couples can maintain, and even strengthen, their bond while apart. Here’s how to keep your relationship both emotionally and physically fulfilling, even when you’re not in the same room.

Prioritize Emotional Intimacy First

Intimacy isn't just physical; it starts emotionally. While sex is often the focal point of intimacy, emotional connection forms the foundation for any healthy sexual relationship. When you're apart, the key is to keep those emotional lines of communication strong.

Ways to nurture emotional intimacy:

  • Regular check-ins: Make time for daily or weekly "heart-to-heart" conversations. Share your thoughts, your day, your highs and lows. The deeper you go emotionally, the more you’ll feel connected when you’re apart.

  • Be vulnerable: Opening up about your needs, desires, and insecurities helps create a sense of closeness and trust. Vulnerability creates a safe space for both partners to express themselves freely.

  • Active listening: Make sure you're listening to your partner with the intention of understanding—not just responding. Active listening builds empathy and shows that you’re truly invested in your partner’s emotional well-being.

Pro Tip: Schedule "deep conversations" where the goal isn’t to solve problems, but to connect emotionally. Sometimes, just feeling heard and understood can boost intimacy.

Engage in Regular Texting and Communication

While nothing replaces face-to-face interaction, modern technology provides plenty of ways to stay connected throughout the day. When you're physically apart, texting, voice notes, and video chats become vital tools for maintaining intimacy.

Creative communication tips:

  • Flirt through texts: Keep the playful energy alive by sending flirty texts or playful emojis throughout the day. A little flirtation can go a long way in keeping the sexual chemistry strong.

  • Send love notes or thoughtful messages: A quick "I love you" text is great, but a thoughtful message about something you admire in your partner can go even further. Let them know how much they mean to you.

  • Voice notes and video calls: Texting can feel one-dimensional sometimes. Mix it up with voice notes or video calls to hear your partner’s tone and see their expressions. These small acts of connection can bring back that feeling of being in the same room.

Pro Tip: Set aside time for "uninterrupted" calls or video chats. This allows you to be fully present with each other, without distractions.

Get Creative with Digital Intimacy

Just because you're not physically together doesn't mean you can’t share intimate moments. In fact, technology has given couples new ways to stay connected sexually. Whether it’s through sexting, phone sex, or exploring intimate video calls, there are numerous ways to maintain sexual intimacy across the distance.

Digital intimacy ideas:

  • Sexting with intention: Sexting can be a fun way to maintain a sexual connection while apart. But it’s important to approach it with intention and playfulness—don’t just send a generic message, get specific! Share your fantasies, describe what you’re wearing, or recount an intimate memory to stir up desire.

  • Phone sex and video chats: Using your voice and visuals can be incredibly powerful in maintaining sexual tension. Schedule a "sexy call" and let your imaginations run wild.

  • Mutual masturbation: Another option for couples who want to maintain sexual intimacy is to engage in mutual masturbation while on video calls. It’s a way to stay physically connected without being in the same room.

  • Send intimate gifts: Surprise your partner with thoughtful gifts—whether it's a piece of lingerie, a special toy, or something that holds sentimental value. Physical gifts can carry emotional weight, making the distance feel more manageable.

Pro Tip: Create a safe and comfortable environment before engaging in any form of digital intimacy. Make sure you both feel secure and respected in the experience.

Plan Regular Visits or Virtual Date Nights

When distance is a factor, the anticipation of being together again can keep your bond strong. However, it’s important to maintain that excitement by planning regular visits, or even virtual date nights to keep things fresh.

Date ideas for long-distance couples:

  • Watch movies together: You can use apps that allow you to sync up streaming services and watch movies or shows at the same time. Then, discuss the plot and characters afterward—just like you would if you were sitting next to each other.

  • Cook dinner “together”: Pick a recipe and cook together over video call. You’ll not only create something delicious, but also have the chance to laugh and chat as you prepare it.

  • Take virtual vacations: While it’s not the same as being there physically, you can enjoy a virtual vacation together by planning trips or talking about future vacations to build excitement for when you're reunited.

  • Schedule visits: Nothing will keep the flame alive like knowing when you’ll be physically together again. Plan regular trips to visit each other and make sure the anticipation keeps the energy between you both vibrant.

Pro Tip: Keep an eye on the future and discuss what life will look like when you’re reunited. Planning for the next time you can be physically together builds hope and strengthens your connection.

Maintain Personal Sexual Wellness

While maintaining intimacy with your partner is important, don’t forget about your own sexual well-being. When apart, it’s easy to neglect your personal needs, but keeping in touch with your own desires will help you stay in tune with your body and feel more connected to your sexual identity.

Personal wellness tips:

  • Self-pleasure: Solo sex is a great way to stay in touch with your sexual energy and desires. It helps to keep your sexual health in check and ensures that you don’t feel disconnected from your own body.

  • Exercise and body care: Physical activity helps boost energy, mood, and libido. Taking care of your body, whether through yoga, strength training, or even simple stretching, will help you feel better, more energized, and more confident.

  • Mindfulness: Mental health is key to sexual well-being. Practicing mindfulness or meditation can keep your mind focused, reduce stress, and improve your overall mood—contributing to better intimacy when you reconnect with your partner.

Pro Tip: Set aside personal time for self-care rituals. When you’re emotionally and physically well, it’ll be easier to show up as your best self for your partner.

Trust and Patience Are Key

Long-distance intimacy requires a high level of trust and patience. It can be easy to feel insecure or frustrated, but remember that distance doesn’t mean your love is any less real. By focusing on communication, mutual respect, and the desire to maintain the connection, you’ll be able to weather any storm together.

TLDR

Maintaining intimacy and sex while apart isn’t always easy, but it is absolutely possible. The key is to stay creative, communicate openly, and prioritize emotional and physical connection, no matter the distance. With modern technology and a strong commitment to each other, you can not only keep your relationship alive but make it even stronger.

So, whether you're sexting, planning future visits, or simply having a nightly video call, remember that the bond you share doesn't depend on proximity—it thrives on trust, communication, and love. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and with these strategies, it can also make the connection even deeper.

Tips for Navigating Long Distance Intimacy

Long distance relationships are tough for everyone involved - who wants to be apart from their loved one(s)? Though nothing will quite sate the desire to be with them physically, there are ways to get everyone’s needs met. Over the past few years COVID forced us to innovate and find creative ways to stay connected. As a result, we've never had more tools available to make long distance relationships a bit easier. Before figuring out which of these options work best for your relationship, all partners involved should evaluate what they need to feel connected and satisfied, and then communicate that to each other. That will give you the information you need to choose the best option(s) for your relationship.

Some questions you should consider are:

  • What are your non-negotiable needs around connecting with your partner and how often do you need to connect to feel satisfied in your relationship? 

  • How often are you able and willing to text/call/video chat? 

  • What insecurities, if any, do you have about long distance relationships and what do you need from your partner(s) to help you manage those insecurities?

  • What ways, if any, do you need to be intentional about how you spend social time outside the relationship in order to feel socially satisfied? 

  • What are your primary love language(s) and how can they be fulfilled long distance? 

Once you establish those answers, you can get started looking into ways to connect, including the following suggestions: 

CASUAL COMMUNICATION

  • Send videos or audio messages to give your partner updates about your day 

  • Make “open when” letters

  • Send them a surprise $5 to get themselves a coffee  

SPENDING TIME TOGETHER

SEX

  • Try out a long distance remote control sex toy 

  • Print out sultry photos of yourself and mail it to them (as long as you have consent) 

  • Set aside time for sexting like you would carve out time for physical sex in order to be fully present and connected 

Long distance relationships are challenging but not insurmountable. With work, intentionality, and communication, it’s possible to have a full, satisfying relationship regardless of proximity.