Experiencing Depression During the Holidays? Here Are Four Tips for Staying Connected

It’s the time of year where the daylight is dwindling and the chill in the air disincentivizes adventuring outside of the house as much. In other words, it’s a perfect recipe for heightened depression. As we’ve discussed in a recent blog post, the holiday season is a particularly stressful one for most people. If you’re struggling with your depression these days, you’re not alone. These tips are not solutions but hopefully they’ll serve to make you more resilient against your depression.

1) Get outside

Easier said than done considering the chill in the air but one of the most important ways to care for yourself year-round is by getting outside. Sun and fresh air won’t solve all your problems, but it will do you a world of good to get outside of your house, especially if your depression is making you struggle to stay on top of chores.

2) Determine a realistic level of social commitments

The holiday season can get dizzying with the amount of demands it brings. You might find yourself wanting to say yes to everything but that’s a recipe for burn out. It’s tough but essential to find the balance between socializing enough so you’re not isolated, without socializing so much that you burn out. Only you can determine where your limit is.

3) Ensure that you’re eating and sleeping enough

Like the other tips, this is important year-round but becomes even more important when you’re expecting a particularly stressful time in your life. When you’re running on fumes because you’re sleep deprived or hungry, you won’t be able to function at your best. Here are some foods that are suggested for winter blues.

4) Loop in your loved ones

Consider talking to a few trusted loved ones about your depression to shore up your support system. Perhaps they can plan to check in on you once a week, help you stay on top of commitments and chores, or just come keep you company once in awhile.

If you feel like nothing you’re trying to address your depression is working or if you feel unsafe, consider seeing a professional if it’s accessible to you. We hope you enjoy your holiday season as much as possible!

Wondering About Relationship Therapy? Here are 3 Myths to Debunk

Relationship therapy is a great tool that, unfortunately, is often stigmatized and surrounded by myths that disincentivize people from utilizing it. Some of these myths include that relationship therapy is only for those on the brink of divorce, that relationship therapy is a cop out from fixing the problem yourselves, that a stranger couldn’t possibly help your relationship, and that the therapist will take sides or favor one partner over the other. Here are some of the most common myths; let’s breakdown why each one is incorrect.

1) Relationship therapy is only for those on the brink of divorce

While some people certainly go to therapy as a last resort to avoid the end of the relationship, that is far from the only valid reason to try relationship therapy. Perhaps you need to fine tune communication skills, or maybe there’s a desire discrepancy negatively impacting your sex life, or maybe you’re struggling to feel connected following the birth of a child; these examples and dozens more have the potential to benefit from relationship therapy.

2) Relationship therapy is a cop out from fixing the problem yourselves

Asking for help is not a weakness, it’s a strength. There is a reason that tools like relationship therapy exist; they’re there to be used, and they’re there because they have a documented history of helping people. Not only does a therapist bring their expertise to the table that people without formal psychological training don’t usually have, but they also serve as a mediator to try to ensure that all parties are not only heard, but understood. Wellness experts like personal trainers and physicians are much less stigmatized even though their role is similar to a relationship therapist’s in that their expertise facilitates their clients’ wellness. The choice to seek help from an expert is smart, not weak.

3) The therapist will take sides or favor one partner over the other(s) (especially if attending therapy was initiated by one more than the other(s))

In a successful therapeutic dynamic, this should not be the case. Ideally, everyone should feel heard and validated, and the therapist’s role is to facilitate that. Taking one side over another would only serve to alienate someone and therefore undermine the goal of the therapy.

Despite the stigma, relationship therapy is nothing to be ashamed of and with the right therapist, it can be a powerful tool. If you’re interested in learning more about whether or not relationship therapy is a good fit for you, reach out to Embrace Sexual Wellness.

Considering Dating as a Single Parent? Here are 3 Tips to Consider

Being a single parent is a tall order, to put it mildly. Add in the idea of dating, and it can be so overwhelming you don’t even know where to start. The good news is that you’re far from alone given that according to a 2019 Pew Research Center study found that the United States has the world’s highest rate of children in single-parent households. This means there are also plenty of tips and support from other single parents to be found out there. This article will offer an overview of some single parent dating tips, as well as additional resources to further your preparation. 

1) Upfront honesty is key

• If you neglect to mention that you have a child(ren) in the beginning stages of talking to someone, there’s a bigger risk of wasting your time with someone who isn’t okay with that. Save yourself the anxiety and bring it up sooner rather than later.

2) Search for a partner before searching for a co-parent

• Of course your child(ren) is your first priority so this might sound counterintuitive. This is not to say that you shouldn’t prioritize pursuing people who could potentially make a good parent, if that’s what you’re looking for. Rather, it is merely to say that you need to make sure someone will be good for you before you can judge whether or not they’re good for your child(ren). It might be tempting to try to focus on finding a parent for the sake of your child, especially when they start to question the absence of one of their parental figures, but you’re not dating for your kids (or if you are, you might not be ready to date). You’re dating for you first.

3) Consider what reasonable expectations look like for you, for your potential partner, and for a potential relationship

• Some important things to think about are…

  • How much free time do you have?

  • How much mental capacity do you have available to give your energy to another person?

  • When, if ever, would you be comfortable with introducing your child(ren) to a partner?

  • How serious of a relationship do you want?

These are just a few things to think about before diving into dating. If you’re wanting to do more research and learn more about single parent dating, here are some additional resources:

• Dating Apps for Single Parents To Find Someone Who Gets It 

• The Best Dating Podcasts for Single Parents

• Single Parenting Article Archive (Parents.com)

• Single Parent Support Group Options Available to Anyone 

• Dating and the Single Parent | Baker Publishing Group