5 Winter Survival Strategies

Do you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? It's pretty common to notice decreased mood in the colder, darker months. The days are shorter, the temperature is chilly, and the sky is gray. It’s completely understandable that your mood might be more blue than normal. Fortunately, there are things you can do to find more cheer and stability throughout the winter. 

Try these tips to help prevent the winter blues:

1. Reach out to friends and family when you're feeling down. Here are some ways to hang out in a COVID safe way while still having a blast!
   

2. Set appropriate boundaries so you have the time and energy you need to take care of yourself. 
   

3. Try a SAD lamp. These bright lights can help boost serotonin in your brain and improve your mood. It also helps to regulate melatonin which helps with sleep, an important component of health year-round.

4. Talk to a doctor about supplements and types of exercise that can help boost your "happy" hormones such as: endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine. Some options include

• Endorphins

  • Exercise

  • Acupuncture

  • Aromatherapy

• Serotonin

  • Food (via tryptophan production)

  • Supplements, such as 5-HTP or probiotics

  • Give and/or receive physical affection

• Dopamine

  • Eat foods rich in tyrosine including cheese, meats, fish, dairy, soy, seeds, nuts, beans, lentils, among others. 

  • Practice proper sleep hygiene 

  • Meditation 

5. Consider speaking with a therapist for extra support. ESW has therapists on staff who can help.

Here’s to an easy, joyful winter! Remember to take care of yourself to avoid burnout.

Physical Intimacy After Sexual Trauma

Content warning: discussion of trauma and sexual assault

Sexual trauma is one of the most harrowing experiences someone can go through and unfortunately, it’s far too common. Sexual trauma can be caused by any kind of non-consensual sexual experience; including rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, and childhood molestation. Given that trauma is subjective, it is up to the individual to determine how to define their experience. On average, there are 450,000+ survivors of rape and sexual assault every year in the United States, a number which is likely underreported. Survivors of sexual trauma frequently struggle with PTSD and are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol to cope. Experiencing sexual trauma has the potential to upend someone’s entire life, not least of all their sex life. Trauma responses can range from sex repulsion to hyper-sexuality. There is no one timeline or coping strategy that will work for every survivor of sexual assault so the most important part is to respect one’s own boundaries and to move at a pace that feels comfortable. There’s no obligation to return to consensual sex but for those who want that, healing is possible, even if it is sometimes challenging. 

Common obstacles to resuming consensual intimacy may include negative body image, flashbacks, and PTSD. If it’s accessible to you, work with a trauma informed therapist to facilitate your healing process. Embrace Sexual Wellness offers therapy to address sexual trauma concerns and you can learn more about our services here. In the meanwhile, the following tips and resources can assist your healing process. 

General Tips

• Identify your specific triggers and boundaries to understand what your healing process should work to address

• Move at your own pace

• Explore intimacy solo before partnered 

• Test out different coping mechanisms for trauma healing such as talk therapy, mindfulness, and medication 

• Reassociate intimacy, touch, and sensuality with positive connotations

• When returning to partnered intimacy, be in constant communication

Body Image 

• If your body image has been affected by sexual trauma, it may put you at risk for self-harm or disregard for your own safety so it is vital to address as soon as possible

• Surround yourself online and in real life with a diverse community of body positive or body neutral people, especially on social media

• Understand that you deserve peace and to feel worthy. You deserve self-compassion

• Resources

  • Health At Every Size Community Resources 

  • My Body Back

  • The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

  • Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving by Betty Dodson

Flashbacks/PTSD

• Test out different coping strategies for flashbacks to see what works for you; if you have access to a mental health professional, develop coping strategies in conjunction with them 

  • Try grounding strategies 

  • Talk it out

  • Try mindfulness exercises

• Remember that healing is not linear and there is no wrong way to heal 

• Seek out therapy. If it’s not accessible to you, check out our mental health resource roundup

• Avoid drugs and alcohol

• Acknowledge small victories

• Resources

  • Flashbacks | RAINN

  • Flashbacks - Herts Rape Crisis and Sexual Abuse Centre

  • Survivor Network - Flashbacks

  • Post-Traumatic Stress and Sexual Trauma

  • Flashbacks during Sex

  • How My Partner Reacted When I Had a Flashback While We Were Having Sex 

Reintroducing Intimacy

• Start out by working up to solo intimacy. This could be a warm bath, taking sensual photos, reading erotica, and/or masturbation, along with anything else you might want to try

• Determine your triggers and boundaries and communicate them to partner(s) when applicable

• Have an emergency plan in case you become triggered in everyday life or during sex to calm down and prevent from spiraling 

• What feels pleasurable might change after sexual trauma. Remain flexible in your thinking about what pleasurable intimacy looks like

• When attempting partnered intimacy, constantly communicate with your partner(s) about how you feel, what feels good, boundaries, and whether you want to keep going

• Resources

  • Developing Hot + Healthy Intimacy After Sexual Trauma 

  • Reclaiming Sex and Romance After Assault 

  • Sex After Sexual Assault: A Guide for When It’s Tough

  • A Guide For Survivors Of Sexual Harm

  • Having Healthy Sex after Sexual Assault

Reclaiming Sexuality

• Masturbation can aid in reclaiming a sense of control and ability to experience sexual pleasure

• Both hypo- and hypersexuality are normative post-trauma responses 

• Read articles and books to guide you through reclaiming your sexuality. Good book options include 

  • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

  • Dear Sister: Letters from Survivors of Sexual Violence edited by Lisa Factora-Borchers

  • The Rape Recover Handbook: Step by Step Help for Survivors of Sexual Assault by Aphrodite T. Matsakis

  • The Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz

  • Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma by Staci Haines 

• Talk about shame, obstacles, concerns, and intimacy through with a consenting friend or, ideally, a mental health professional

• Be patient and kind to yourself

• Resources

  • Reclaiming My Eroticism After Sexual Assault

  • Reclaiming Sexuality and Desire 

  • How I Took Back My Power After Experiencing Sexual Trauma

Regardless of your experience or post-trauma response, you deserve to heal, reclaim your sexuality, and enjoy sex again (if you enjoyed sex pre-trauma). Your experience is valid and please give yourself grace as you navigate the complex feelings associated with healing trauma. Build your support network, read up on healing strategies, and be patient. If you’ve tried healing on your own and you need more support, contact us for trauma-informed therapy.

Mental Health Round-Up: Resources for Healing

Though May is coming to a close, that doesn’t mean nurturing your mental health stops there! We have compiled a resource round-up for ongoing mental health care. This is just a sampling of the vast array of resources available but we hope it serves as a useful starting point!

General

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

• Mental Health Resources (MHR)

• National Institute of Mental Health

Crisis Hotlines 

• Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

• Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255

• Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

• OK2Talk Helpline Teen Helpline: 1-(800)-273-TALK (8255)

• Crisis Text Line: Text SIGNS to 741741 for 24/7, anonymous, free crisis counseling

Apps & Websites for Wellness

• Insight Timer

  • Free website and app offering guided meditations, meditative music, mental health related talks, and more mental wellness resources. 

• Headspace

  • Subscription-based website and app (with free trial option) to learn meditation from the basics and up. Meditation categories include sleep, stress, and mindfulness.

• Calm

  • Subscription-based app (with free trial option) primarily focused on sleep and relaxation meditations. However, it includes video lessons for movement, nature scenes and sounds, guided meditation, sleep meditation, and more. 

• 10% Happier: Meditation

  • Subscription-based app (with free trial option) offering guided meditations. They have an affiliated book, podcast, and newsletter. 

• Happify

  • Website and app focused on improving your “happiness score” which is based on a survey users take when starting out. Its activities and games work to change your perspective through “happiness science” to improve your outlook.

• MoodMission

  • An app “for dealing with stress, low moods, and anxiety.” It is catered to remedying feelings of depression and anxiety through developing healthier coping mechanisms. 

• Woebot

  • Built around the idea of “radical accessibility” which they define as “accessible in every sense of the word. It means being able to access support no matter the house, and whether you have a diagnosis, or a prescription, or not.” Woebot uses scientifically based therapeutic research to code an AI capable of providing therapeutic support. 

• Sanvello

  • App and website offering self-care, peer support, coaching, and therapy resources. It is based around principles of cognitive behavioral therapy to effectively address mental health concerns. It is a pay-based service but it is covered under many insurance plans, according to their website.

Books | Synopses excerpted from GoodReads

• My Therapist Told Me To Journal by Holly Chisholm 

  • “Keep anxiety and depression in check with tons of totally doable mental health tips and techniques included here. You'll find some silly things, some serious things, some resources and exercises—oh, and a whole page of STICKERS to use throughout your journal.” 

• You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell

  • “Written by Daniel Howell, in conjunction with a qualified psychologist, in an entertaining and personal way from the perspective of someone who has been through it all—this no-nonsense book gives you the tools to understand your mind so you can be in control and really live. Split into three chapters for each stage of the journey: This Night - how to get through your toughest moments and be prepared to face anything. / Tomorrow - small steps to change your thoughts and actions with a big impact on your life. / The Days After - help to look after yourself in the long term and not just survive, but thrive.”

• Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who’s Been There by Tara Schuster

  • “This is the book Tara wished someone had given her and it is the book many of us desperately need: a candid, hysterical, addictively readable, practical guide to growing up (no matter where you are in life) and learning to love yourself in a non-throw-up-in-your-mouth-it’s-so-cheesy way.”

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

  • “Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies.”

• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

  • “In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown, PhD, a leading expert on shame, authenticity and belonging, shares what she's learned from a decade of research on the power of Wholehearted Living--a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.In her ten guideposts, Brown engages our minds, hearts, and spirits as she explores how we can cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough, and to go to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am sometimes afraid, but I am also brave. And, yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable, but that doesn't change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.”

• The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

  • “The Body Is Not an Apology offers radical self-love as the balm to heal the wounds inflicted by these violent systems. World-renowned activist and poet Sonya Renee Taylor invites us to reconnect with the radical origins of our minds and bodies and celebrate our collective, enduring strength. As we awaken to our own indoctrinated body shame, we feel inspired to awaken others and to interrupt the systems that perpetuate body shame and oppression against all bodies. When we act from this truth on a global scale, we usher in the transformative opportunity of radical self-love, which is the opportunity for a more just, equitable, and compassionate world--for us all.”

Directories to Find a Therapist

• Find Inclusive Therapists, Counselors, Mental Health Care Near You

  • Inclusive Therapists is a therapist directory that focuses on centering the needs of Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) and the LGBTQIA2S+ community. They advocate for equality and accessibility. 

• Therapy For Black Girls

  • Keeping the societal stigma around mental illness that many Black women face in mind, Therapy for Black Girls caters to the needs and concerns that are specific to Black women.

• Open Path Collective: Affordable Counseling | Affordable Therapy 

  • Open Path Psychotherapy Collective is a non-profit nationwide network of mental health professionals dedicated to providing in-office and online mental health care—at a steeply reduced rate—to individuals, couples, children, and families in need.

Everyone needs different care for various needs and luckily, there is no shortage of options out there. All of the resources listed here are trusted, scientifically-based options that value privacy and effective care. Though not all of them will work for every individual, many offer trial options if applicable so you can figure out what works best for you. Remember to take care of yourself this month and every month!