It’s no secret that navigating the world as a queer person can be a messy, challenging process. Systems of oppression such as homophobia, fatphobia, racism, transphobia, and misogyny, among others, constantly tell marginalized people that their existence is incorrect, not least of all their physical form. Additionally, capitalism thrives on solving issues that it convinces you that you have. With all of this combined, it’s even tougher for queer people than most to feel at home in their bodies. This is in no way the fault of the individual, and yet the individual is the only one who can ultimately change the reality of their attitude. That’s not to downplay the difficulty of the task and hopefully this article can help guide you as you endeavor to feel more at peace in your own skin.
Surround yourself with supportive people (and media)
Your environment, both in person and online, directly affects your mental wellbeing. If you spend every day around people or following people on social media who espouse hateful rhetoric that makes you feel worse about yourself, that is not someone who should be part of your life if you have the choice. Of course, it might not always be a choice, such as if you still live with/depend on someone who makes you feel worse about your body. In that instance, try to spend as much time as possible with people who are a positive influence, whether that means finding them through an activity of mutual interest for example or perhaps
Intentionally connect with your body through meditation
Meditation and physical activity both require an intentional awareness of the body which can, in turn, make you feel more in control and more in tune with your body. A popular meditative practice is a body scan meditation. Insight Timer has an LGBTQ+ specific 5 minute body scan meditation.
Start with body neutrality instead of body positivity
There’s no one correct way to exist in your body. Body positivity works for some people and that’s great; for others, though, it’s a daunting prospect to go from body dysmorphia or hatred to the polar opposite. Body neutrality is a “philosophy of embodiment that sought to shift focus away from how our bodies look and toward how they can make us feel good.” In other words, instead of focusing on loving our physical form as opposed to hating it, the focus is shifted away from aesthetics entirely and towards the amazing things your body allows you to do.
Work on somatic/embodiment therapy with a queer affirming provider
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by trying to improve your relationship with your body, you might consider seeking out somatic therapy under the guidance of a queer affirming provider. Somatic therapy is “a form of body-centered therapy that looks at the connection of mind and body… In addition to talk therapy, somatic therapy practitioners use… physical techniques to help release the pent-up tension that negatively affects a patient’s physical and emotional wellbeing.” This type of therapy can take many different forms so it might take some searching to find the right therapist for you. For guidance on finding a specifically queer affirming provider, check out this article.
Journeying to feel at home in your body is no easy task and you should take a moment to appreciate yourself and the hard work that you’re doing. This journey has no final destination and will likely last a lifetime but with the right community and tools, finding bodily peace is not beyond reach.
