Sex Therapy Blog Chicago | Tips & Insights on Sexual Wellness

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Jennifer Litner, LMFT, CST

What You Need to Know Before Your First Telehealth Therapy Appointment

Many people around the world have become social-distancing pros in the past few months, working remotely and interacting with loved ones digitally. The practice of individual and relationship psychotherapy has followed suit, as many providers have transitioned to offering sessions via Telehealth. But, what if you’ve never been to a tele-therapy appointment before? Don’t fret, we’re here to help with some tips for beginning tele-therapy during the pandemic.

Clear Your Schedule

Pretend like you are in a therapist's office for the entire hour. Tell your coworkers, roommates, neighbors you are unavailable or block your calendar for that hour. You’ll want to dedicate the entire time toward focusing on the session. Put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” or turn it off completely. If you live with someone else and your walls are thin, ask them to wear headphones during that session, so you can speak freely without feeling like your privacy is being compromised. Imagine you are in the therapist’s office and direct your entire focus to the therapy appointment (we realize for some, this is easier said than done).

Set Up Your Virtual Therapy Office

If you’re going to be talking a lot, you’ll probably want a glass of water on hand. Emotions tend to arise during therapy, so make sure tissues are available and a trash can to dispose of them. Keep a notepad to take notes, if that’s your thing. You’re going to be occupied for an hour, so it’s best to use the toilet before your session to avoid interruptions. If you feel more focused when wearing trousers instead of sweats, plan accordingly before your session. The more present you are, the more you’ll likely get out of your session!

Ease Into It

Give yourself five minutes before to settle in and really think about what you want to accomplish during this session. Prioritize which topics are most important and what you have been working on. It can be helpful to make a written or mental itinerary for how you want to organize the session. When finished, give yourself another 5 minutes to process before you transition to what you have going on during the remainder of your day.

Limit Distractions

We know it’s hard, but try to avoid inviting your pets to therapy, especially if you’ll be tempted not to keep your eyes off of them. While they may provide emotional support, you’ll want to stay focused on what is happening in your session. Take the same approach with children, if possible. Ask a co-parent or caregiver to watch your children during your session to help you stay focused. Refrain from eating or consuming alcohol during your session. A good rule of thumb to follow: If you would not do it in a therapist's office, do not do it during your teletherapy appointment.

Teletherapy has never been more accessible than it is now, during the Covid-19 pandemic. Take advantage of these new opportunities and make an appointment today with us (hello Illinois residents) or some of the other qualified clinicians in your area!  





How to Celebrate Pride Month All Year

June is unofficially known as Pride Month all over the world. Parades, demonstrations, educational seminars, and celebrations of the LGBTQIA community take place in most major cities as a chance to show pride. While the movement has been building for centuries, a turning point took place on June 28, 1969 at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar located in the West Village of New York City. After the authorities raided the bar and physically abused LGBTQIA+ patrons, riots took place on the street. This was the impetus to begin pride marches all over the country, which served as a watershed moment of the LGBTQIA+ rights movement. While this year may look much different, with marches all over the world being postponed due to concerns of the COVID-19 pandemic, Pride Month lives on. 

Wondering how to celebrate Pride Month? Here are a few quarantine-approved ways to celebrate pride!  

Honor LGBTQIA+ Pioneers 

Sylvia Rivera was credited with throwing the first brick at The Stonewall Inn while resisting arrest. Barbara Gittings fought to remove the title of “disorder” from homosexuality from the American Psychiatric Association. Harvey Milk was the most notable openly gay man to be elected to public office. The Gay Rights Movement has no shortage of heroes along the way. Become educated with their inspiring beginning and, even, some of their tragic outcomes. Understand the sacrifices these brave pioneers made in order to advance LGBTQIA+ rights and promote acceptance and diversity in the world. See them in the same light as other national and global heroes.

Be an Active Ally

Being an ally requires more than just “accepting” the LGBTQIA+ community. According to the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), some of the best ways to be an ally include: listening to others’ experiences, letting people in your life know that homophobic/biphobic/transphobic jokes are offensive, standing up for your LGBTQIA+ friends and colleagues if they are being bullied or discriminated against, and to stop assuming everyone you meet identifies as straight. Allyship is not only literary -- it is action-oriented and requires folx to consistently show up and affirm people’s identities that are different from their own. Being a true ally means intentionally and unapologetically supporting the LGBTQIA+ community.

Be An Allied Consumer

Support LGBTQIA+ owned businesses and make contributions to allied organizations. A directory of businesses can be found here, including fashion designers, jewelers, and makeup artists. Another way to be an allied consumer is to support businesses that actively practice allyship through their mission and partnerships. Brands such as Nike, Reebok, Target and Uggs have all made contributions or participated in LGBTQIA+ initiatives this year.

Keep the Pride Alive

Pride month may only be 30 days, but LGBTQIA+ pride lasts for 365 days. Keep learning, keep growing, keep donating to incredible organizations supporting the LGBTQIA+ community. Some of our favorites are the National Center for Transgender Equality, Equality Federation, and The Trevor Project. Looking for additional resources about where to contribute? Checkout this list. And, as always, visit our Instagram page for more information on how to continue supporting the LGBTQIA+ community year round.

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Happy Masturbation Awareness Month! Here’s Why You Should Celebrate…

If you’re not a sexpert like myself, you may not have known that May is Masturbation Awareness Month. While International Masturbation Day is May 28th, we dedicate the entire month to awareness and celebration of a scintillatingly enjoyable and anatomically natural form of pleasure that we think very highly of. This year’s celebration couldn’t come at a better time as many around the world find themselves with lots of alone time and less access to sexual partners. While there are many great reasons to masturbate this month (and every month), here are a few of our favorites.

It’s the Safest Form of Sex Right Now

This may go without saying, but having solo sex is the safest way to prevent sexually transmitted infections and, especially right now, viruses. We were recently interviewed by USA Today for saying so. Now, we’re not saying avoid sex with a trusted partner you live or are quarantining with. However, if you’re not living with a sexual partner, masturbation is the safest way to go to scratch that itch for pleasure while keeping a safe social distance. Just make sure you clean up your toys if you’re bringing them to the party.

It Helps with Sexual Functioning and Disease Prevention

There are some unintended, but potentially life changing, benefits of masturbating from a health and wellness standpoint. Research suggests that vibrator use, a major activity in masturbation for vulva owners, may lead to more positive sexual functioning and lead to a person being more proactive about their sexual health. For penis owners, research also suggests that more frequent ejaculation can help reduce the risk of prostate cancer. There has also been research suggesting that masturbation has therapeutic potential to fight certain cardiovascular diseases. 

It Activates Hormones in the Brain that Promote Happiness

Masturbation (orgasm specifically) has been known to be involved in the release of oxytocin and dopamine in the brain, known as the “happiness” and “love” hormone, respectively. As is explained in the Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism, oxytocin development begins right before pregnancy, continues during birth and later, travels throughout the entire body, triggering, or modulating a full range of physiological functions and emotions: happiness, attraction, love, and affection. The same hormones that are activated when experiencing happiness, love and affection are also activated during orgasm.

However you choose to celebrate Masturbation Awareness Month, make sure to do it safely and don’t forget to enjoy yourself! Be sure to visit our website for suggestions about our favorite pleasure-enhancing stories and devices.