Condoms for Coitus: Types of Condoms and Tips for Best Usage

Condoms get a bad rap. Most of that is made up of misconceptions though, which is why we’re here to clear them up. The reality is that condoms are an invaluable tool for safer sex. They are currently the only barrier method to effectively prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You may be thinking “but I don’t have any STIs!” but in actuality, you can have asymptomatic, yet still transmittable STIs. The only way to ensure you do not have an STI is to get tested regularly. Condoms help prevent the transmission of STIs. It should be noted, there is no shame around STIs; they’re natural and they happen. That being said, most people would prefer to avoid them! 

Types of Condoms

When you think of a condom, you probably think about a latex sheath that rolls over any phallic object, be that penis or otherwise. Within this category of external condoms, there are a variety of options that differ in effects and material. There are also internal condoms.

Here are a few of the most common types of condoms:

• External 

  • This is the condom you know and (maybe?) love. They are widely available, affordable, and 98% effective when used correctly. 

• Internal 

  • Internal condoms, much less popular than their inverted sibling, are essentially a pouch that's inserted in the vagina or anus. It works like other condoms, except that it's worn on the inside.

• Spermicide-coated

  • There are traditional condoms that are sold with a sperm-killing chemical on them. It is debatable whether the amount is significant enough to make a difference. The best bet, if you are interested in spermicide, would be to use a separate spermicide product in conjunction with condoms.

• Polyurethane

  • Polyurethane condoms are an option for anyone who has a latex allergy. The biggest downside is that these are slightly more prone to breakage which is not a great quality for a condom. This means it is even more important than usual to have an additional contraceptive method on board with these types of condoms. An upside of these condoms is that polyurethane tends to be thinner than latex and may offer a preferable sensation for the person wearing them.

• Flavored

  • Flavored condoms are exactly what they sound like: regular condoms that have flavors. These are best for oral sex, as opposed to vaginal or anal intercourse. As an aside, yes, you should be using condoms even for oral sex. The flavor has the potential to enhance the experience for the giver of oral sex but they should not be used inside any orifice of the body (e.g., vagina or anus) because the ingredients that create the flavor might cause irritation if used internally.

• Textured

  • Textured condoms are also exactly what they sound like: regular condoms but with texture. While the texture offers no protective benefit, it may provide additional pleasure for the recipient of intercourse. It can be fun to experiment with different textures and evaluate how they impact the sexual experience. 

Tips

• Always make sure your condom fits snugly but not so tightly it might break. Size is a huge factor in condom efficacy. 

• Do not reuse condoms. 

• Condoms expire! Regularly check their expiration date to make sure yours are still good to go; if not, they are far more likely to break. 

• If your condom is not already lubricated, apply lube to the body before insertion to decrease friction (high friction leads to breakage).

• Do not keep a condom in your wallet. The heat and friction are a recipe for breakage. 

• Find a condom that you enjoy the feeling of, or at the very least do not mind. This way, you’ll be far more likely to use them. 

• Do not use condoms with oil-based lubricant or any other oil-based product like baby oil or Vaseline. They will cause the condom to deteriorate. 

• Do not wear more than one condom. It’s unnecessary at best and can lead to breakage at worst. 

• For marathon sessions or longer sexual encounters, switch out condoms about every 30 minutes to prevent breakage. 

Happy National Condom Month! Now that you are aware of condom best practices, you can enjoy yourself while practicing safer sex with peace of mind.

A Simplified Guide To Safer [Oral] Sex

Blowjobs, fellatio, giving head, eating out, cunnilingus, rimming. These are all terms used to reference oral sex which is any activity that involves the mouth, lips, or tongue, to stimulate the genitals, or anus of a sex partner. According to the CDC, more than 85% of sexually-active adults (ages 18 to 44) reported having oral sex at least once with a partner, showing just how common oral sex is. 

The safest situation, other than abstaining from oral sex, is to only have oral sex if you are in a sexually monogamous relationship and you and your partner have both been tested recently. Not everyone is in this situation, and that should not deter you from having oral sex.   

Oral sex can be extremely pleasurable, but it is important to take precautions since STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) transmission can occur. Here are some critical things to know when engaging in oral sex. 

1. A person can acquire an STI while participating in oral sex

According to the CDC, certain infections such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes, HPV, and in rare occasions, HIV, can be transmitted during oral sex. Furthermore, according to Avert, a charity providing accurate and trusted information about HIV and sexual health, notes that if you are engaging in oral-anal sex you could contract infections such as hepatitis A and E.coli. There is generally a very low risk of HIV infection from oral sex unless the receptive partner is living with an STI and has genital sores, or the partner providing oral stimulation has an STI and is symptomatic with sores, warts, or bleeding gums.  

Not all STIs have symptoms and/or symptoms could be more subtle. The University of Florida's Student Health Care Center recommends “looking before you lick,” to check for lesions, growths, or unusual discharge in the genital area. If you notice any of these, hold off on oral sex until your partner gets tested since these symptoms may be due to STIs. Furthermore, according to Avert, infections can be passed on even if there are no obvious signs or symptoms, meaning you should be getting tested frequently. 

If you are sexually active, the best practice is to get tested for STIs frequently. The CDC provides extensive guidelines for how often you should get tested based on your demographic, but it is advisable to get tested with each new partner for full transparency. Furthermore, many are unaware of window periods, the time it takes for an STI to read as positive after it has been transmitted. While some STIs only take a week to show up on a test, some may take up to four months.

It is always important to discuss your safer sex plans with your partner(s) including your test history and results, any sexual health concerns you are currently experiencing, and how this information will inform your plans for practicing safer [oral] sex. Greatist provides a helpful template on how you can speak to new partners about your sexual health status. 

To learn more about STIs and how to talk about them head over to our  recent blog post, Discussing Your STI Status and Practicing Safer Sex. 

2.  Use barrier methods for protection 

A way to protect against STIs during oral sex is by using barrier methods such as condoms and dental dams. There are a variety of brands, styles, and flavors of barrier methods to choose from, which can be fun to mix it up. You and a sexual partner can get a variety of barrier methods and try out a new one every time you engage in oral sex! A good rule of thumb is to always have your barrier method of choice with you so that you can always engage in safer oral sex. Lastly, make sure to use a new barrier for each sex act. 

External Condoms

If you are giving oral sex and your partner has a penis, we recommend using an external condom to prevent the transmission of STIs. To learn more about how to use external condoms, visit our Instagram for an IGTV demonstration led by ESW associate, Marnie Spiegel.

Dental Dams

If your partner has a vulva, or you are stimulating your partner anally, we recommend using a dental dam. To use a dental dam, hold one side against your partner’s vulva or anus and lick the other side, making sure to never turn the dam over. This graphic from Healthline shows how to use a dental dam.

Source: Healthline

Experts also recommend using a dental dam if the receptive partner is menstruating because menstrual blood can carry bacteria and viruses. Sometimes it can be difficult to find dental dams on short notice. Dental dams cannot always be found at gas stations, grocery stores, or doctors’ offices, so Healthline recommends going to a local adult store that sells pleasure devices, lube, and condoms or ordering them online at stores such as World Condoms or Undercover Condoms. There’s no need to worry because you can make your own by cutting a condom lengthways from bottom to top/the tip to create a single piece of material that can be used as a dam. This graphic from Healthline illustrates how you can create a dental dam out of a condom.

Source: Healthline

Watch this video from University of Chicago’s Wellness Center that teaches you how to convert an external condom into an effective dental dam!

Finger Condoms

Finger cots, or more commonly known as finger condoms, can be used when fingering a vagina or anus. Elizabeth Boskey at Very Well Health states that finger condoms can be an effective barrier method if you are only using one finger. They can reduce the risk of certain STIS and are often more comfortable than gloves. They note that finger condoms can be found in some first aid aisles of drugstores, but you can also purchase them online or make them by cutting a finger off of a latex glove. You can also experiment with different flavors of barrier methods, to excite your tastebuds and make safer oral sex more enjoyable - we recommend the strawberry flavor.

3. Brushing your teeth or using mouthwash before and after engaging in oral sex can lead to infection

You may want your breath to smell good before “going down” on someone, but brushing your teeth can actually increase your risk of contracting an STI. According to the University of Georgia’s Health Center, flossing and brushing your teeth can cause your gums to bleed, thus irritating them and making it easier for an infection to pass from one partner to another. In a 2017 interview with Shape magazine, endodontist Gary Glassman, D.D.S shared that you should only be rinsing your mouth out with water, nothing else, before and after having oral sex.

Oral hygiene is a necessary part of having safer oral sex. According to the CDC, poor oral health can lead to tooth decay, gum disease, bleeding gums, and oral cancer, thus making it easier for STIs to be transmitted. Make sure you are brushing and flossing regularly!

4. If you think you have the common cold, hold off on oral sex, as you may have an oral infection

It is important to note that some oral infections can be easily confused with the common cold. Assistant professor of clinical medicine at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago, Gil Weiss, M.D, reports that some symptoms of STIs (such as a sore throat, cough, fever, and enlarged lymph nodes in the neck) are similar to symptoms of a common cold. The University of Georgia’s Health Center recommends abstaining from oral sex if your partner has a cold sore on their mouth or they are living with sores, discharge, or unusual odors on their genitals as these may be signs of infection.

Oral sex is pleasurable, but can be made even more pleasurable if sexual safety is taken into account. If you are feeling nervous about having oral sex because you think you may be experiencing symptoms of an STI, we recommend you hold off on oral sex until you get tested. Keep these tips in mind as you engage in oral sex, but most importantly make sure you are having a pleasureful time! 

TLDR:

1. A person can acquire an STI while participating in oral sex

2. Use barrier methods for protection 

3. Brushing your teeth or using mouthwash before and after engaging in oral sex can lead to infection

4. If you think you have the common cold, hold off on oral sex, as you may have an oral infection

Discussing Your STI Status and Practicing Safer Sex

STIs, also known as sexually transmitted infections, are important to be aware of whether you are sexually active or not. More than 1 million STIs are acquired every day worldwide, yet there remains a stigma surrounding them and those that have them.  But shame can be reduced by learning the facts. Few STIs are life-threatening and most are treatable. Having an STI doesn’t mean that you are a ‘dirty’ person and is no different than contracting another type of infection, such as a sinus infection. Using the term ‘dirty’ is stigmatizing and hurtful. When we use the terms ‘clean’ and ‘dirty’ to describe sexual health we are implying that people with STIs are not healthy or moral people, which is not accurate and evokes shame. These terms are damaging to those who have STIs because it can make them feel as if there is something wrong with them.

Discuss Your STI Status Before You Have Sex

It can be difficult to talk to your partner about STIs, but it is an important conversation to have. Before having sex with a new partner it’s important to have a conversation about your STI status and expectations for getting tested. Even if you are using protection, such as condoms, that protect against STIs, you should regularly get tested to make sure that you are aware of your STI status. It is also critical to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to expectations for testing and safer sex practices.

It may make you more comfortable to have this conversation in a safe and private space. Make sure that you are alone and in a place where you feel comfortable to discuss private information. If you are having trouble beginning the conversation, that is okay. Some things you can ask about are your partner’s sexual history, if they typically have sex with or without protection, what barrier methods they are open to using (e.g, internal condoms, external condoms, dental dams), when was the last time they got tested and what those results were, and if they have ever had an STI before. 

Develop Healthy Sex Practices

It is important to be open with your partner about what methods you will use to prevent STI transmission during sex. Creating an agreement is critical when beginning sex with a new partner so that you are on the same page about your expectations. Continue your dialogue about STI testing and status and make it clear that you want to engage in safer sex practices to protect against the transmisison of STIs. 

To start off these conversations it can be helpful to let your partner know that you will be able to enjoy sex more if you know that you are in agreement about your sexual practices. Do you expect you or your partner to always wear a condom or use barriers like dental dams? Asking questions like these allow for you and your partner to create a clear plan together. If you are okay with them having sex with other people make it clear. It is important to be open about expectations if you and your partner are going to be sexually monogamous or not.

Get Tested

The most important thing you can do after having an open conversation with your partner is to get tested. The CDC has extensive recommendations for how often you should get tested based on gender identity, sexual orientation, and number of sexual partners. However, it is recommended that you get tested with each new partner so that there is total transparency. Many are unaware of the “window period”, the time it takes for an STI test to read as positive after it is transmitted. While some STIs only take a week to show up in a test, others may take up to four months.

Find a Testing Site Near You

STI and Sexual Health Hotlines

Lower-risk activities

If you or your partner has an STI, or if you are not comfortable having sex right away, Planned Parenthood has a comprehensive list of lower-risk activities to be sexually intimate with another person. Some of these activities include outercourse, all sexual acts other than vaginal intercourse, and mutual masturbation, but for a comprehensive list, visit Planned Parenthood’s website.  

Remember that having an STI is nothing to be ashamed of. The best thing you can do is to encourage an open dialogue with each new partner and get tested regularly. There are a variety of options available for those who have an STI. There are treatments such as antibiotics and antiviral drugs that can help with symptoms and in some cases get rid of the infection. If you test positive for an STI remember that you are not alone. There are many resources to help you manage the outbreak.